We can talk about that goddamn shitty movie Maleficent till the cows come home, go on and on about how stupid it is to make such a simply evil but awesome villain the martyr for no goddamn reason.
But you know what I want?
I want a spinoff of the Beauty and the Beast about the one who cursed Adam (the beast,) the Enchantress.
Because this bitch
This fucking bitch, is possibly as evil, maybe even more evil and sadistic than Maleficent.
The Enchantress cursed the prince because he failed a test, he was unkind to her because she presented herself as an ugly old hag. She turned him into a werewolf minotaur hybrid (fucking cool I’ll give her that,) because he was rude to her and didn’t want her rose.
So she cursed him, along with every single one of his servants. What did his servants have to do with any of this? Why are they being punished?
Not only that, but this stood out to me when I watched the movie again. When the spell is broken, all of the monstrous statues and art pieces transform into graceful, beautiful ones, I’m assuming that’s what they looked like before.
So this enchantress not only cursed him and his servants (oh and his fucking DOG DID I MENTION THAT) she took away every beautiful thing he had, replacing them with things like goblins, dragons, ghouls and other monsters, just to remind him what he was and what she had done to him, and he would have to look at them every single day.
I’m going to rightfully assume she provided the magic mirror as well, all of the magic in the movie stems from her, the mirror most likely came from her. His only window to the outside world is a handheld mirror, so he can fucking look at himself.
But you know what the kicker is?
If we take these two lines into consideration
“The rose, which was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year” ~Narrator
“Ten years we’ve been rusting…” ~ Lumiere
We can reasonably deduce that the Enchantress cursed the prince when he was eleven years old.
I want this filthy green bitch publicly exposed.
Not only did she curse an 11 year old, she cursed an 11 year old PRINCE in the middle of a dark night who refused a stranger shelter because, get this, I’m 20 and if some weird old lady showed up at my door in the middle of he night and was like Yo Can I Sleep Here i would probably just close and lock my door because!!!!
Who is she!!!! I don’t know her!!!! What if she tried to kill me or stole everything!!
This boy is a prince living in a palace of luxury and he was probably given the “don’t talk to strangers” talk by his (dead??) royal parents!! Or at least Mrs. Potts!! He was probably like this lady’s gonna steal our silverware and candle sticks in the middle of the night and all she’s giving me is a rose that was probably picked from our own garden?? Bye lady.
i would just like to point out that the recent conversation surrounding the male birth control trials isn’t just “lol weak men can’t deal with side effects” it’s the fact that when they were testing hormonal birth control for women in the 50s & 60s, the side effects were much worse, and the women who participated in them, mostly in puerto rico, were not told about the side effects or that the drug was experimental
and THEN when women dropped out, they started using incarcerated women as their guinea pigs, and then despite the fact that some scientists who participated in the original trials were like “uh i don’t think this is actually good, it’s making a lot of these women sick,” the pharmaceutical industry & fda were like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and approved it for the general population anyways, without really warning women about the potential for all these negative side effects
and THEN researchers basically ceased to do any type of research on side effects like depression and decreased libido for 50 years, despite the fact that women were still complaining about them, and because there was no “hard evidence” of these side effects, a lot of doctors basically just assumed women were exaggerating or making it up. and that continued until the first major studyof depression in women who take hormonal contraceptives was released just. this. year.
oh, and fun fact: even after this new study was released, a lot of the scientific community is still being like “but can we PROVE these women aren’t just depressed because they’re LOVESICK?”
It took me a good two minutes to work out that that is a picture of a person in a translucent waterslide and not someone trapped in a human test tube in a horror film
there are so many important elements to this. the slow-mo. the sliding on snow in trainers?? the string classical music. the knowing glance towards the camera. the slight raise of the mug in salutation. the book. the red dressing gown. the snowflakes falling past. the hair? the blink as they turn away. who are they